Long time no see. The last 3 weeks or however long it has been have been full of grace and blissful suffering. It has taught me how much I truly desire Heaven. I desire to be with Him, where jealousy loses its grip, and anger’s flame is quenched, where my eternal joy is made complete.
Getting there requires death, and not just at the end but a constant death to one self. A surrender, a choice of compassion rather than wrath. There were many times in the last few weeks where I could feel my anger running up my spine like a legion of raging men. I could taste the temptation of vulgarities on my tongue, but from inside I hear a deep and gentle voice call my name. And instantly I drop my weapons, like Peter at the moment of Christ’s arrest. “He who lives by the sword dies by the sword”
Do you want to die clinging to the works of Satan? No you don’t. Because to come face to face with Satan and his bitter ugliness is worse than the human heart can handle, and you will cry an inconsolable cry.
Hear your name be called, do not run into despair, run into the arms of the savior whose arms are wide open. Be a soldier for Christ. Fight the battle on your knees. When fury and rage knock on your door, respond with compassion. Fight like you have nothing to lose, because nothing is truly yours. Let Christ be your everything, stop trying to find the strength inside to fight a battle made for God. You fool, put down your pride. Did you really think you could keep up with God stride for stride? To act in anger or out of bitterness is to deny God’s goodness, to deny that He is just. We find ourselves in these storms, and somehow allow ourselves in misery to forget that Jesus is in the boat with us. “Oh you of little Faith, why have you doubted?”
Let us turn this anger and frustration to Christ, and let Him heal us of our inwardness. Let Him flip our hearts right side out so we can act out of compassion. Behind every act of anger, is a selfish reason. Yes it comes from a place of hurt, or a place of brokenness. But was Christ’s body not completely distorted and heart broken on that cross? And in that moment were His actions not that of complete love? Let us imitate Christ in that way. Let those who have hurt us, see our wounds as we continue to love anyway.
Do not let the devil convince you that any form of anger is right. Whether your anger is that of a silent treatment or a heavy fist, it doesn’t matter. Don’t let the devil hold you like that, don’t let him stop you from giving what the battle between good and evil fights for. Which is the love of a human heart. Act with love and let Christ alone be your reason.